Girl, Please

You know how you can tell someone doesn’t want to be with you?

When they’re with someone else

But you have such a deep spiritual connection with this person

So, you tell yourself shit like,

“His spirit may roam, but it’ll come back home”

“I Love him so I allow him to be free”

When really you’re not allowing him to do shit

But stay on your mind and be the subject of crying fits

That’s all you’ve done - in all this time

And meanwhile, he’s out there finding a wife

And you’re questioning what you’re doing with your life

As if that’s not the only part of your life that ain’t right

Because you’re doing just fine

But you don’t notice

All you know is he’s not here

So you nit pick and question and nit pick and question

Is it my weight?

I thought I looked great

But maybe he’d have reached out if I hadn’t have…ate

So much…

…Is it the things that I say?

On the gram everyday

Because I’ve created a character of my being sexual and kind of gay

And maybe he didn’t like to see me that way

What is it?

You ask yourself every night

When everything in you is ready to fight

You

Not him

You’re doing what he did

Not appreciating

Not rewarding the small wins

Or the big ones too

Not sticking by your side to see all that you could do

Because you’ve done so much

Created Love with your Life

But somehow you still failed, not being this nigga’s wife.

Briana Harry