Trust The Missteps

I’m here to consider that, perhaps, I get everything I ask for. Maybe it doesn’t always come in the forms I envision, but they come. This past week, in the middle of my hazy fog of summer celebration, I felt this yearning to slow down, to pause, to spend some time alone. I got asked out on a date, and I told the person that I needed some alone time. A couple of days later, I woke up with a sinus cold.

You’d think I would be used to this by now, I’ve gotten one every summer in the 4 years since I learned I even dealt with allergies. So, there I was, spending time alone. In solitude. In deep rest. It wasn’t the most comfortable of sorts, but it was exactly what I needed. 

In the midst of that, I completely jagged my meditation streak. I skipped the day when I was feeling particularly useless and in need of nothing but sleep. And You know what? I was meant to. Maybe nothing in life is meant to be streaked, to be taken as a score. Especially the things that mean the most to us. My phone’s record of how much I meditate is nothing in comparison to my body’s, my mind’s, my spirit’s. 

I was a bit disappointed for a split second, of course. There’s something about watching that number grow each morning. It’s motivating. But mindful practice is about learning to listen inward, and in my true practice of that, I was giving my body what it really called for, and meditation wasn’t on the menu. That’s okay. 

You know, I’m actually proud of myself. I’d like to think that this proves that I’ve located my center. This wouldn’t be enough to throw me off of my square. I just needed to remember who I am, who I’m becoming. A big part of that is the trust I’ve cultivated. I trust that what I “missed out on” was meant to be missed. I trust that I am no less me, no less worthy, when I skip a day and screw up my streak. I trust that I am still me, even better, a me that listens to my needs. I Love that. 

I’ve also learned that, sometimes we don’t know we need a day 1, a fresh start, until one appears. This feels a bit symbolic. Like a reset, a moment to reconsider my intentions and start from scratch. I’m able to release all that was heavy pre skipped meditation and move in on my new intentions, with my new days. I’m thankful for that. 

So, to you, I say, be thankful for the missteps. We may not know until we reach the finish line, just how pivotal that mistake was in putting us on the course that was meant for us much more than the path we started on. Trust the mistakes, and embrace the new beginnings. Whether you called them in or not, in some way or another, you probably did. 

Sending You Love.