Practicing The Pause

This season in my life is called, “messages I’ve heard before that are just now sinking in”. This week’s chapter of this is called “practicing the pause”. Now, I know that this is something I first heard years ago; probably when I read The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, but this is the space where I really put it to use. As I am continuing on this path of deliberately feeling good, and learning what it really looks and feels like to actively create the life I want, the pause is essential. 

Okay, I know you’re probably like “what the hell do you mean, the pause?”. It is creating a gap between something happening and you responding to it. Usually, there’s no space between the two, and so, what happens is our reaction. Now, I am looking only to respond, not react. Reacting is often thoughtless, think knee jerk. Not every initial reaction is “bad”, but mine are getting more and more embarrassing as the Universe helps me really see the value in this lesson. 

For instance, I’m currently in a relationship with someone who is not from Chicago like I am. If you don’t know anyone from Chicago, you may not know that we are known for being a bit…aggressive. This isn’t something I ever noticed about myself until I was brought together with someone so calm. Being in this relationship has been my first real, and best, face to face look at my natural reactions. I never mean any harm, of course, but not everyone can tell that all the time. 

Those instances are usually more funny than anything else, but they’ve definitely helped me notice the times when I react in ways that don’t result in a shared laugh. There are things that I’m insecure about, and my reactions to those things can be very defensive. When I’m on the defense, it’s very easy for me to be mean and to not offer even an ounce of grace to whomever I’m speaking with. The pause will come in handy here. The more I get used to taking a moment to assess my response, and make sure that it’s necessary, the less likely I’ll be to operate from anger or hurt, or to displace it. 

Another thing I’ve noticed lately is the way I can act on autopilot causing me to fail to set boundaries when needed. Sometimes I just “go with it”, and don’t notice until later that I may have said yes to things that I really didn’t want to. Pauses are perfect for this. Taking a moment to ask myself, “how am I feeling about this?” and “is this something I’m actually interested in?”, will help me to see when I really need to say no. This is how I continue to strengthen my intuition. 

Pausing is also how I plan to take action and choose the better feeling thoughts, words, and situations. This is how I continue to keep up with my intention to feel good. Instead of being at the mercy of whatever is happening outside of my control, I can choose how I look at and respond to those things. I can make sure that I am always hand-picking what feels best for me. 

So, here we are, another layer to this wildly wonderful ride. Let’s see what it does.