MaMash

The “Mash” in YeMash is for MaMash. MaMash is what we called my Grandmother. What we still call her, although she hasn’t been with us physically in 18 years. On the day this piece comes out, Wednesday, July 14, 2021. It’s her 70th birthday. I just saw that written out and nearly shuttered. You see, 7 is my favorite number. I attribute that to her, but also because my birthday is 2/14. 14 divided by 2 is 7. 7 and 7 make 14, 7/14 is my MaMash’s birthday. Three 7s make 21. On 7/14/2021, my MaMash would have made 70. She makes 70. Wow. 

It’s also Wordy Wednesday, like, come on. Whatever You and God have for me, I’m open to receive it. I’m thankful for the messages. The little synchronicities. Catching my birthday, or your birthday, or numbers that make 7 all the time. I’m thankful for your presence, for knowing you’ve never left me. Even though I’d spent a lot of time not really acknowledging you, questioning if I even missed you, if I was feeling that emotion appropriately. You’ve been here all along. 

Your Love has remained like the Sun, unconditional, ever-present. Many days of cloud coverage don’t change the fact that the Sun rises and sets each day. Never leaves. A Love I’ve always aspired to possess and give. I know now that I want that because I come from that. There was no one like MaMash. Everyone who knew her agrees on that. I have that in me, that unforgettable quality, and I’m so thankful.

You gave us your prayers and your action. You created space for so many. You fed us, you made us laugh, you gave us Love in all of its forms. You Loved on us, spoiled us, set a precedent. We are a result of your Love. We shine bright because you shined us yourself. You did the work. All of the work, much more work than should have been just yours, but you did it. 

Every memory of you is sweet, you left no one with bitter tastes. I aspire. I look up to you, even now, to this very moment. 18 years from a time when we shared physical space. Before I knew the value of that space in all the ways that I can describe it now. I have nothing but Love and gratitude. Nothing but Love and gratitude, and I’m overflowed with it. I can’t help but thank you for that. 

In the picture I’ve chosen, you’re pregnant with my Mother. Your fiercely Loving, amazing, creative, caring first born. Your only daughter. She became my YeYo. You made her who she is to me. I wonder if this was your first time giving the Love that we all came to know. I wonder if this is where the spark was born and it grew and grew into the fire we all remember, the warmth, the light. Nonetheless, a million thank you’s. 

Thank You. You are still so Loved, our Love for You fuels us. It gives us energy when we’re without. It makes us strive. We are still learning to live up to all you prayed for for us. Your Love is still pushing us forward and keeping us our most alive. I thank You. I celebrate You. I Love You. Happy Birthday.