Normalize Happy

I wonder if I should call the last few phases in my life “The Feeling Good Saga”. We’re still on this track, and the more I put my focus on it, the more I choose it with my words and my energy, the more it grows. It’s grown in me through my willingness, my ability, and now what I consider as concepts of feeling good. What am I choosing for myself in this space, with the objective of feeling good deeply rooted within me? 

At this stage, I am choosing to normalize happy. Now, I know how tired we are of this word, but it’s exactly what I mean. I’ve been doing a lot of inward listening, and it’s strengthened my outer listening too. I notice how easily self-deprecating language rolls off of our tongues. At first, I thought it was just my generation, but I hear it in generations before me, as well. 

I think it comes from different, personal places, from person to person; but I also think all those places are shared on the same thread. I know, for me, when I’ve taken close looks, I’ve been afraid to praise myself to others because it would hurt if they disagreed. I think I developed certain language as a coping mechanism, my ego trying to protect me from the hurt of not being accepted or Loved the way I want. 

When I declared the month of June as my month of cultivating confidence, I knew I had to implement a taste of extreme in order to train my brain, and eventually balance out to confidence. I had to start with cocky. I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror, singing my own praises. I even started saying “thank you, I agree!” when someone would compliment me. I had to get it to stick, and it’s working. 

So, when I decided recently to let go of that self-deprecating language, I started with extremes like I did with building confidence. I’m not as far into this practice as I am with the confidence piece, but I can already tell I’m building the habit of replacing those self-limiting words and thoughts. When I think something “negative” about myself, I think the exact opposite of it. Even if it doesn’t feel true right away, I play with the sentence until it feels like a match; or at least something not so far from unbelievable. 

This actually isn’t that hard as I’ve already let go of a lot of those not so good thoughts. That’s why I’m thankful for this work, at each step we’re unintentionally building onto what we’ll need for the next step. With building my confidence, there was no room to talk or think down about myself. So, now it’s not so much of a struggle to reverse those thoughts when they do try to surface. 

So, this all builds up into normalizing happy. My experience of the world around me, especially now, through the lens of social media, is that we find it normal to experience negativity. We’ve made the joy, the peace, the thriving, feel like the rare thing. I no longer choose to take this as true. 

I think about my therapist telling me once to make the good things my default. So, when I feel good, when I’m being Loved properly, when I’m enjoying myself, and in need and want for nothing, this is my default. This is my base. Being happy and fulfilled is normal for me.