The Latest Shifts
A lot of growth is recognized in hindsight. I had the thought this morning to pay attention to my real-time growing. What’s happening right now, in this season of my life that is changing (and upgrading) who I am? Here are some ways that I am actively shifting into a new Me:
Truly submitting to the present.
This morning, I came in from the gym and sat on the floor to meditate. I put a timer on for 7 minutes, to sit in silence and follow my breath. About two minutes in, I feel my cat (Sebastian Jodeci aka BaBa aka Bubs) head butting my knee and hand, calling for my attention. Instead of fighting to keep the moment what I set out for it to be, I decided to make a mindful practice out of playing with and entertaining my cat. For the next 5 minutes, I played with him and really immersed myself in the act of it. I let go of what I thought the moment needed to be and allowed it to be what it actually was.
Adopting a “desire not” mindset.
I spent a couple months off of social media (just one month off of TikTok, because it’s TikTok), and when I got back on, I immediately noticed my brain going “I want, I want, I want!” Social media is worst than commercials, in that way, it’s a constant feed of clothes, recipes, vacation spots, all types of things for your brain to say “hey, I want to try that”. So, I decided to create a “revisit” list. If I have the thought or feeling of desire when I see something, I add it to the list. Then, I revisit it at a later time to determine if I actually do want to pursue whatever it is. By adding it to the list, I take my mind out of the state of desire, putting myself back into my present experience. Then, if I find that I am still interested later, then I work on making it happen. This way, I’m not leaving my brain desiring instead of being grateful for my present experience.
Making grace my default when dealing with myself + seeking to understand myself absent of judgement.
I’ve made the decision to accept that I am not finished forming. I’m growing and becoming every day, so why would I treat myself like I’m in my final form? Incapable of change? It doesn’t make sense. I’m letting go of definitive statements about myself and allowing observation and curiosity to be a part of my inner experience. I’m treating myself like I’m learning Me, because I am.
I’m so thankful for this space. I remember times when inhabiting my brain was the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I am so happy to experience myself being this light, playful, and open. I know every moment won’t be like this, but I feel so much more confident in my ability to find my way back (word to Beyonce).
Sending this very energy out to You. I Love You.
