To Know Who You Are

Twice in the span of just a couple of days, I’ve seen or heard something about “knowing who you are”. Each time, it made me pause. It made me stop and ask, do I know who I am? Like, if someone was to ask me, “who are you?”, what would I say aside from my name?

Besides, what really makes us who we are? If we’re ever-evolving how much of who we are is permanent? What even counts when we are always growing and changing? I understand the concept of knowing oneself. I know that I know my values, I know what I stand for and against, for the most part; but even that feels too vague, too broad. 

There’s also this emphasis on who you really are. Apparently, there is a difference. I do have the thought that the true core of who we are can only be found in our once little selves. I guess that’s what they mean when they say who we really are. Who we started as. Who is still there, underneath all of the protection. 

I think a past version of me feared that we are our mistakes, and what that made me if that turned out to be true. It seemed like, “why not?”, if I am the good things, why not the bad? What’s keeping me from being just those things? What ratio is needed to determine one over the other? 

The more I grow, though, and accept every piece of my experience, I think I’m comfortable with the idea that I am all of the things. 

If we are what we do, I am a writer, a podcaster, someone who likes to cook and host parties, someone who likes to drink and laugh, someone who is sexual and emotional. If we are our values, I am someone who values presence, Love, freedom, and enjoyment. If we are our mistakes, I am someone who tends to binge, someone who has found myself regretting things I’ve said, someone who is often crying at inconvenient times. 

I think I’m okay with all of that. Not that that would be my response to the question “who are you?”, but that is what would be the most true. That and that I’m still being written. I’m still learning. I’m still becoming.