Purpose

The word “purpose” has made its way back into my awareness. I couldn’t tell you the last time I thought about that word, that concept. I don’t know the last time I wondered what my purpose was. I really can’t get myself back to the experience of having the question asked and not knowing. It couldn’t have been that long ago, but this present space of knowing feels like it’s just been my life. I guess that’s how that works, the first time you’re sure about something, you don’t even have the recollection of not being sure. 

Here’s the thing about purpose though. I think we get this idea that all of the work is in finding our purpose. The way that the purpose conversation is often had suggests that everything lives in the space of searching. What do we do once we’ve found it? The answer may seem obvious, but what are the tactical items? What does a person who is sure about their purpose do everyday? 

That’s where I am now, in the upkeep stage. Growth, maybe…? Yes, growth. Definitely. In short, I define my purpose as healing out loud. I’ve heard a number of times that your purpose lies where what you’re good at and what the world is in need of, intersect. I’m good at communicating and I’m good at feeling, and interpreting. I would say the world needs all the out loud examples of people authentically figuring it out. People who don’t put their intentions on hiding, or painting a picture that’s so far off from the life they’re actually living. You know, doing it for the gram and such. 

I don’t have anything all the way together. I’m nowhere near perfect. I have a lot of elements to me that, to some, may seem like the exact opposite of the messages I share. People may look at me (particularly on weekends) and think my weekday persona is fake. But the truth is, like all humans, I’m so many things. I exist in worlds of both calm and chaos, and I lean into the environment so much that I can very easily come off as either calm or chaotic. It may seem off or even extreme, but it’s just who I am. 

Part of my purpose was reaching a space of comfort with that. I needed to give myself permission to be everything that I am. I needed to be okay with everything that I like, everything that fills me up, because otherwise, I’d be hiding. My purpose is to live, heal, and be out loud. 

I do this with conversation. I do this with every piece that I write. I do this in my podcasts. Every single space that I bring me, all of me, whoever I am that day, that is me doing the work of my purpose. So, now, I just have to keep maintaining that. I have to be comfortable in walking in my purpose regardless of what it may bring to me. 

That’s the other thing we’re taught about finding our purpose. Or maybe this was just me, let me not speak for you. Back when I first started hearing things about “finding your purpose”, not only was it from the scope of believing that that in itself was your life’s work, but it also insinuated that that would be the key to unlock ultimate success. 

It’s not at all that I don’t believe this to be true, I have a firm belief that I will be successful in all manners of the word. I just also Love where I am now, and that’s how I know that I truly do know my purpose. It lights me up, even when there’s no check at the end; even when there are no retweets, or post shares, or praise. I still want to do it. It still heals me. That’s how I know I really have cracked the code, and the rest is going to be the best bonus. 

So, if you’re looking for your purpose, land on the things that actually feel good. Not in the way of “time doesn’t exist, you forget to eat, or sleep because you Love it so much” blah blah blah. That’s not everyone’s experience. Certainly not every time. So, you have to keep a closer eye out, because it may not be how they’ve described it. It’s okay that you’re not always in the mood for it, but look for how it feels when you’re in the flow of it. That’s how you know. 

Also, it will touch someone, and when it does, that one person will feel like a million, because sharing from your purpose feels so much better than just sharing what’s popular. Wherever you are on your purpose journey, whether it’s searching or maintaining, you’re doing the work, and there’s more than enough purpose in that.