The Support I Have

My favorite thing about my previous notion that I knew everything, is that now, I get to relish in being asked the right questions. Questions have a way of shifting your perspective, and even, turning you in the direction of something you’ve never thought of. On a level of logic, I now know that I don’t know everything and that that’s okay. However, those patterns are still pretty deeply embedded in my mind, and in need of a deliberate shift when certain situations come about. So, I’m growing to Love being asked the right questions. 

Just this morning, I was asked a few perfect questions. I was meditating, as I often do, using The Daily Shine podcast. The title of this meditation was “Savor Your Support System”. I don’t think I even batted an eye at the title, or tried to guess what it would be like, as I often find myself doing. That could be because, when it comes to the topic of support, I’ve frequently felt that I didn’t have any. Of course, I have family and close friends who I know Love me; but in my mind, deep down, I knew that I kept so much to myself and did a lot of dealing on my own, and in turn, felt pretty unsupported. 

Honestly, this thought wasn’t even all that deep down. It’s a real thing that I thought. I’ve even talked about it in therapy. This was a belief of mine. Sure, people are around me, sure, they Love me, but I really only have myself to truly depend on. This is a way that my ego has lied to me in attempts to keep me “safe”. I can appreciate the intention, but it’s time I let my ego know that it can settle in this area of my life. 

In The Daily Shine meditation, I was asked the right questions. Instead of my usual inner monologue telling me that I deal with everything alone because this is just the way it is, I finally had a different space to pull from through these questions. I was specifically asked to journal on questions like “who do I go to for emotional support?” and “who do I go to for advice?”; I was even asked about where I go for physical support. These very specific questions opened up the definition of “support” for me. It helped me realize that I have a network of friends, family members, and even podcasts I listen to and books I rely on. Not to mention, my cherished therapist. A saint, that Woman is. 

In my close friends, I have people who I can vent and complain to; people who don’t mind if I’m “always” crying. In family members, I have people who I don’t have to pretend around, I don’t have to paint over my dark moments, and I can always come as I am. My neighborhood is surrounded by nature and businesses that absolutely keep me afloat. In books and podcasts, I get so much advice and practices to apply to my own day to day life. This is an enormous amount of support. 

The point is, I made the choice to hear this meditation and journal prompts out to come to a deeper appreciation for the people and resources around me. I would have continued on thinking that I was a lone wolf, only coming to people with my fun and lively side, and depending solely on myself for relief in other areas. This is a huge shift, and has created so much for me to be actively grateful for. 

So, if you are like me. Think outside of your day to day. Reflect on ways you’ve been supported. Even if it’s as simple as your local grocery clerks or baristas. Think as deeply as you can about the people and resources in your community that you have grown and benefited from. You are worthy of this care and support, and you have it, even if you tell yourself you don’t. 

Relish in this support. You deserve to not have to go it alone.