Rooted in Reality

As I seek to deepen my connection to my desires, I hear so much about the power of visualization. “You have to see it to believe it”, they say. I feel that, and I believe in the power of that, but to be honest, I really struggle with it. I am not a very visual person. I’m not visually creative, and my thoughts are rarely images. As you may know by now, I am wordy. Words get me going, so I try to lean into that as I work with my inner creator. 

What’s funny is, there are some instances when I can visualize very clearly. Someone inside me is constantly anxious about me hurting myself. Whether it be cutting my finger off as I chop onions or even tripping on the sidewalk and busting my nose open on the curb, these are things that I can clearly see. Sick joke, Universe. I can also clearly see romantic fantasies. Especially when they involve someone I’m no longer connected with (bonus points if I’m heart broken by it). 

I’m not too sure about the hurting myself visions, so I tend to allow myself to just laugh at those and let them go. The fantasies, however, I know come from images that I already have stored. Losing Love with someone I’ve already spent a ton of time and energy with means I have all those good visuals filed away in my mind. So, I can just run away with those, maybe add something to imply a different location, or that we’ve aged, but it’s no work at all to get those pictures in my mind. 

The most recent time I caught myself doing this, I asked myself: how is this helping me to move on? It isn’t. I thought back to my first really big heartbreak. We were together for just under a year, and remained connected for maybe two total, but I spent the next six truly not being over it. The next. Six. Years. That is bonkers, but I clearly remember all the ways I kept a little hope in my heart; all the images and fantasies I kept close. As present me, navigating a smaller, but new heartache, reflects on this, it makes perfect sense that it took all that time for me to be okay with not being with my ex.

I wasn’t rooted in reality. There’s one thing to be present; to note all of your sensory experiences in a moment and really be there, but it’s another thing to sink into your present reality as it relates to what’s bothering you. When I’m daydreaming about a past Lover, seeing us all Loved up and such, I have to pay attention to what’s happening right now, especially if that past Lover’s hurt me. It’s okay to want someone back, but the reality is, if they hurt you, and that hasn’t been addressed, the fantasy in your mind need not apply until it is. 

For me, I had to go back and read our last text conversation the other day. I had to read the words and really take it in for what it meant about the reality I’m currently in. In this moment, we are no longer connected, and my main priority needs to be making the most of this moment, regardless. I had to shift, especially because in the event that there is a possibility to reconnect, I have to keep my needs in mind. My needs are most prominently placed in my reality, not my fantasy. 

Regarding my hurting myself visions, laughing is what brings me to the reality of the space I’m in. Laughing is a present action, regardless of what time or dimension what you’re laughing at lives. Focusing on the action of laughing is what reminds me that what’s happening in my mind is not happening in my present space, my reality. 

Lean on your present for all of your needs. Even with visualizing to attract my desires, I am focusing on bringing that into my present with my thoughts and feelings. So, I’m bringing my desires where I am, to this moment; embodying them here, in this real live space.