I Am Who I've Always Been

I often find myself navigating this feeling of lostness. Like, all of a sudden, I stop moving because I realize I had no idea where I was headed. In those moments, I’ve learned to use certain resources as extensions of my intuition. Tarot being the most prominent of such.

Last week, I asked the Tarot what I should focus on in my week ahead and each day of that week. I pulled a very certain Six of Cups which urged Me to reminisce. I felt sure that I should spend a portion of each day with deliberate focus on my childhood experience. The first thing that came to mind was to listen to music from my youth, and indulge in some favorite spooky season movies, and then I noticed that something else had already been serendipitously built into my week.

For a few preceding weeks, I already had plans to spend time with two of my best friends who were coming in town. These are two of my oldest friends, two people who have been in my life for nearly every era; people who know childhood Bri as well as I do.

Upon the realization, I just laughed to myself. What a beautiful sentiment, this coincidence; this very much by design happenstance. It brought Me immediate joy. So, the week was spent listening to the Spice Girls and a hip-hop playlist from the early 2000s, watching all of the Twilight franchise, and laughing with and Loving on my childhood and evermore besties.

So, as I reflect on the week from the perspective of centering my childhood self, I am reminded, yet again, of my core essence. I am a music Lover, always being moved by words and the deliberate ways some of my favorite musicians position them to speak directly to what has felt like just Me. I am creative. I notice the details - the little ways emotion is provoked in a body of work. I am fun. I am filled with laughter and with the ability to give it to others.

This week served as a reminder that the work I do, to heal, to shed, it is just to make way for who I really am. Who I’ve always been. For that, I am thankful.

written on September Sixteenth with no real intention, at the time, to share this with others - just thought y’all should know that. :)