What Is True For Me Right Now - 10/?

Two phrases have been ever-present in my mind this week. “Radical Acceptance” and “Case by Case”. I am in the midst of using these phrases as guidance as I continue to shape how I want to be. They don’t come without the occasional bump against a mental wall, a reminder of my programming - that I’d been, for so much longer, who I was than who I am now.

The concept of “presence” has always resonated with Me. I’ve always known that regardless of what may be happening, in this moment, as it is, as I breathe into it, there is nothing wrong. All is always well in the present moment. That’s always been a comforting thought and one that I’ve always made my way back to. Radical Acceptance, essentially, is presence; but then, why is it so hard?

I came back to the term through a TikTok. I was reminded of what it’s supposed to be like to observe without judgement. For instance, if My Partner is late picking Me up, instead of making that mean something about Him, I have the option of just accepting the occurrence as is and being guided by that alone. Him being late either is or isn’t a problem - if it’s not, then it’s not, but if it is, it can be discussed, expectations can be communicated, and that can be that. If I get triggered though, and wrapped up in the feelings of that - that could keep Me further from the solution.

I get it - it’s just harder to practice than I would like it to be. Probably because I want it to just be so. I want it to be in everything I experience, but of course, I know it doesn’t work like that. I would Love to just be present and unaffected by the actions of others, especially the actions that genuinely don’t have anything to do with Me. But under the guise of “just caring”, I tend to have a way of wanting to control and shape the narrative of people I Love. I want them to do and be a certain way, a way that will always keep my anxiety at bay; and that’s REALLY why it’s hard.

So, actually - we’ll come back to the “Case by Case” thought (or maybe we won’t, we’ll see). For now, I think I am re-realizing why this practice is important. It’s not just presence, which is for Me, it’s trust, for the people I Love. Radical Acceptance really will be a good guidance system in lieu of letting my emotions make Me controlling or even manipulative.

More on this later…(maybe).