What Is True For Me Right Now 2/?

Radical Honesty.

The truth is I’ve been misled in my pursuit to lead with Love.

I wanted to be positive and to embody Love and light, but I didn’t know how dishonest that would make Me, in the long run. I’m in a dismantling phase - having to break down and do away with so much of what I thought made Me, Me. I’ve realized how many ill feelings I was harboring, by never taking the opportunities to say how I really felt. I would skip my turn, in order to remain who I thought I was.

Maybe it started way before Me. I remember, as a child, being corrected when using the word “hate”. “We don’t say hate, we say we don’t like”, My MaMash would say; and while I value every piece of herself that She gave to Me, respectfully, hate was correct, all along. Truthfully, I hate things, I even hate some people, but that doesn’t make Me a hateful person. In fact, I am now tasked with the work of releasing the hatefulness and the anger that I’ve embodied by covering that truth up.

And while releasing is critical, also, I’m not letting some of it go without examination. One thing we know about hate is that it is powerful in inciting action, and in the hands of someone like Me, someone who spent too much time trying to cultivate a light that was inevitably who I am, real Love can emerge.

Hate can very well lead us to Love if we don’t shy away from it. Hate can be a useful indicator of what needs to be fixed, what needs to heal. I’ve hurt myself so much in trying to prove that hate didn’t reside in Me. What I needed was to let it guide Me.

I am worthy of a well-rounded human experience, just like everyone else. I trust myself enough to no longer let my hate lead Me to lies and cover-ups, and instead embrace the truth of it to better navigate to and through Love, with Love.