What Is True For Me Right Now - 1/?

So, I’ve titled this with “1/?”, because I have the thought to make this a weekly series; something that I email out every week to get back in the swing of doing weekly journal emails (seems weird to call these newsletters). I also have the thought, however, that I won’t stick to that, and that would be okay. I’m not pressuring myself with that. I’m just here, now, with these thoughts, so I may as well make them useful.

What’s currently true for Me is that “balance” doesn’t mean what I thought it did. I was, for a long time, thinking of balance in the way that maybe most people do: moderation, a little of this and a little of that. What I’m coming to understand is that even that way of thinking is too structured for Me. I’m not good with rigid routines (which is crazy to accept), I don’t do well with obligations or restrictions. So, balance, in the way that I was previously thinking of it - took too much thought, and would often lead Me back down the road of extremity (either overdoing things or neglecting them altogether).

I’m finding that the more I trust myself - listen to and accept my “impulses” - the more balance balances itself out naturally in my experience. Take this past week, for instance. I’ve started my version of a “75-Soft” (because 75-Hard was a bit bonkers, for my taste), and within it, I have an intention to do certain things daily and weekly, that have already proven to be fulfilling practices for Me. With the added desire to lose a bit of weight and tone up, I’ve added some restrictions around certain indulgences.

Yesterday, feeling a bit bogged down by the obligation of corporate girliness, I noticed that I was craving Taco Bell. So, I had Taco Bell. Then, this morning, though it was cold and rainy, I felt called to walk over 4 miles on the trail (listening to The Wizard of Oz soundtrack). That’s real balance, and I didn’t have to cross-check my list or chastise myself for my lack of discipline or restraint. I just did what I wanted yesterday and then did another thing that I wanted this morning. And I feel perfectly happy with both decisions.

So, for Me, real balance is achieved in listening to myself. Cheers to that.